Helen S. Fisher
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And so I honestly think that if there really was ever a time in human evolution,
when we had the opportunity to make good marriages, that time ist now.
Howerver, there's always kinds of complications in this.
In these three brain systems: lust, romantic love and attachment-- don't always go togehter.
They can go together, by the way.
That's why casual sex isn't so casual.
With orgasm you get a spike of dopamine. Dopamine's associated with romantic love,
and you can just fall in love with somebody who you're just having casual sex with.
With orgasm, then you get a real rush of oxytocitin and vasopressin-- those are associated with attachment.
This is why you can feel such a sense of cosmic union with somebody after you've made love to them.
But these three brain systems: lust, romantic love and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.
You can feel deep attachment to a long-term partner while you feel intense romantic love for somebody else,
while you feel the sex drive for people unrelated to these other partners.
In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time.
In fact, you can lie in bed at night and swing from deep feelings of attachment for one person
to deep feelings of romantic love for somebody else.
It's as if there's a commitee meeting going on in your head
as you are trying to decide what to do.
So I don't think. honestly, we're an animal that was build to be happy,
we are an animal that was built to reproduce.
I think the happiness we find, we make.
And I think, however, we can make good relationships with each other.
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